Friday, December 04, 2009

Chuck Williams is the Devil

Folks, it has been a really shitty week. A. REALLY. shitty. week. Mostly because our two little bitches precious dogters have been under the weather (mostly complications with Savannah's diabetes) resulting in no less than FIVE trips to the see doctors since Saturday and a hemorrage of money like you would not believe. Seriously. I mean, they are both pretty much OK now, but these weeks are never fun when you HAVE money. When you DON'T have money, well, they are SHITTY. But thanks to Grammy Bunny (that's my moms) at least we will all have groceries for the week. Oy.

Anyhoodle, it's in times of stress like this that I turn to my home away from home--yes, Williams-Sonoma--for a little pick-me-up. And look what arrived in my box this week:

Yes, that would be W-S's holiday foods catalog. Or, as I like to call it, 160 pages of Hell. And Chuck Williams is the Devil. It's just a freakin' full-color fantastical display of temptation. Esp. for us foodie folks. Just take a look at a small sampling of the endless cracktastic delicacies inside:

Holiday Whoopie Pies. Mini-chocolate cakes filled with fluffy vanilla buttercream. The pies come with a packet of crushed peppermint candy so you can add a dusting of fresh "snow" and crunchy texture around the edges. Perfect for me as I would leave off the mint and just dip these bitches in chocolate sauce instead. Word.

Oh. My. God. Step over, pumpkin butter. Gingerbread butter is in town. You know this shit is awesome. I am thinking about it spread on waffles. MMMMMM.

  Fresh Marshmallows. Enjoy them straight from the package, float them atop hot chocolate or dip them into velvety chocolate fondue. Slap me now--I must be dreaming.

Perfect Endings, the renowned Napa Valley bakery, makes these cupcakes for W-S, using fresh eggs, real butter and other premium ingredients. This set includes three favorites: rich chocolate, frosted with classic chocolate icing and scattered with dark chocolate sprinkles; red velvet, generously swirled with old-fashioned white icing and sprinkled with red velvet cake crumbs; and vanilla, slathered with vanilla icing and topped with shredded coconut. Come to mama.

For something a little more savory, drool over these Frittata En Croute, individual frittatas swaddled in all-butter puff pastry made with farm-fresh eggs, cream cheese and Gruyère cheese. You had me at "all-butter puff pastry."

And aren't these freakin' Gingerbread Boy S'Mores the cutest? I don't even usually like crap like this, but I just want to nibble off their limbs before shoving the body in my piehole. The graham crackers are dipped in Guittard milk or dark chocolate and layered with fresh marshmallow flavored with Nielsen-Massey Madagascar Bourbon vanilla sandwiched between. Lordy.

 These Latkes just make me want to be Jewish. Hand made using a family recipe calling for shredded potatoes enriched with onions and seasonings, they're crispy and golden brown on the outside, with a moist interior. If loving these is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

If someone ever asks what I want for my last meal, some sinfully delicious Mac n' Cheese will be at the top of the list. This? Looks like it would be worth dying for. Prepared with a silken béchamel sauce to which three cheeses are added--piquant fontina, zesty Gorgonzola and smooth mozzarella--each serving is sprinkled with buttered bread crumbs spiked with rich and tangy aged Asiago cheese. Oh, yeah, baby.

And how CUTE are these Holiday Snowman Browniepops? These smiling little snowmen are actually velvety-rich peppermint chocolate brownies on a stick with white chocolate shells. I wonder if I could shove a whole one in my mouth......

And anyone who know me, knows Bunny cannot turn down crusty bread or good cheese. W-S offers several cheese collections--Pastoral American, French, English--I want them all, but I will start with this Italian Cheeses round-up. Hot damn.

Again, I don't usually pine for stuff like this, but that Devil Chuck's magic pictures and text makes this Sticky Toffee Pudding call to me. Look at this: "The "pudding" is a light, moist date sponge cake. To serve, pour the included sticky toffee over the uncut cake, drenching every crumb in this rich, buttery caramel sauce." Pure Satan, I say. Satan.

That? Is just a tiny, tiny sample of the ridiculous food items, both savory and sweet, offered up by W-S. Now, sinning isn't cheap with Chuck, but by God, one day, when I have a job, I am going to purchase at least one item every holiday season. Because I am a sinner, Lord--I covet good food, and I only hope you can forgive me. Now, Chuck, if you will just give me a job in return for all my shameless promotion, I will be set, and I'll even get a discount!

Well, peeps, I am out--lots planned this weekend--holiday celebrating, birthday celebrating, fun, fun, fun, which I desperately need. Have a good one and come back soon! Love, B.


Elisabeth said...

So what should I be getting my taste buds ready for???

Sorry you've had a crappy week.

Little Miss Sunshine State said...

you know you would totally put bacon in those whoopie pies.

And I LOVE the gingerbread boy s'mores

When I worked at PB the W-S store would bring us plates of goodies they were cooking for demos in the store.

bunny said...

Oh, E., I am still planning the menu but there will be plenty of good eats, though not all made by my hand.

LMSS, rolling those whoopie pies in bacon is pure GENIUS! Hey, wanna take a long weekend to the ATL next week? I may be headed to the DFM....:) (who's Satan now?)

Jen on the Edge said...

Jeezy peezy, I would totally dive face-first into any of those food treats, which is totally frowned upon by medical professionals for overweight 40 y.o. women with high cholesterol.

bunny said...

JOTE, thanks for stopping by, and I hear you sister, except insert "high blood pressure" for "high cholesterol."

Liz in Virginia said...

I love to go into the William-Sonoma store near us when they are giving out food samples. My tall boy and I tasted that gingerbread butter -- served on pieces of gingerbread. Oh. my dear!

Thanks for visiting my blog -- hope to see you back soon!

Liz @